May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize