Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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