what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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