and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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