Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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