Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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