6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize