We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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