At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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