He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize