Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize