He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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