the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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