I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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