I think I died a long time ago.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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