dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize