Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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