this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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