There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She even gives head with a lisp.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize