I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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