Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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