she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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