Betty ford says i'm here all night
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize