I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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