Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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