Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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