she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize