wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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