its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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