that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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