I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize