fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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