I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize