Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize