i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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