Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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