Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize