____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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