my being single is dangerous.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize