just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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