you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize