She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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