I'm eating all of the evidence.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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