I hate your face
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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