If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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