Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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