there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize