Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize