You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize