who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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