I think i peed on brittanys purse
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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