Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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