I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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